This article is the transcript generated from an interview I had with Central China Normal University regarding child sexual assault in December 2020. In this interview, I recounted in detail the rape incident that happened to me when I was 12 years old. I reviewed some of the reactions from my family and myself at that time and expressed some of my views on the issue of sexual assault. I hope everyone can live a safe and smooth life, but if something bad happens, I hope this article can help you. Everything is gonna be OK.
Interview Transcript#
| Timestamp | Speaker | Transcript | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Interviewee: | Hello, how are you? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hi, how are you? Good, before we start, let me mention our informed consent form again, which I sent to you earlier. | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh right, I saw it, ah, I forgot to sign it. | ||
| Interviewer: | No problem, you can send it to me later. The informed consent form mainly includes the research objective: focusing on exploring the trauma coping and disclosure processes of childhood trauma survivors. What you say is very important to me, so I need to record it. Our interview will last about thirty to sixty minutes. If the interview is interrupted or not completed, we can negotiate for the next time. You have the right to withdraw from this study at any time, and during the interview, if you encounter any questions you do not want to answer, you can choose to refuse to answer. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, no problem, no problem. | ||
| Interviewer: | There are also some minor risks, which is that we might discuss some topics that could trigger emotional responses in you. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, it's okay, I've prepared my happy drink (laughs). | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, good, but I will take care of your emotions because I have experience in psychological counseling. Also, regarding your personal privacy, I will modify the recording to change your voice, and after I finish processing the transcript, I will delete it. Additionally, any content that could identify your personal information will be anonymized. | ||
| Interviewee: | After you generate the paper, can I get a copy? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, you mean the thesis? Sure. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, yes, yes, that's right, the relevant research results. Because I'm actually very curious about this, as I have been involved in public welfare related to sexual assault. But as far as I know, research on sexual assault victims in China seems to be a niche field. I'm quite curious. Yes, because when you mentioned this during the process, I was also quite curious about why you chose this direction. | ||
| Interviewer: | I found this out while reading papers because there are really very few authoritative papers in China, very few. All the references I consulted were in English, and reading those papers was quite painful. | ||
| Interviewee: | It's because of my personal experience and my work with others. I used to do public welfare, and campus violence actually includes campus sexual assault. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | And while doing this, I found that there is actually very little research on this in China. This includes research on causes and effects, as well as how to conduct systematic psychological interventions after trauma. I feel like there is very little research in this area, and I'm quite curious. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, indeed very little. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hey, does your advisor specialize in this area? | ||
| Interviewer: | No, my advisor mainly focuses on crisis intervention and suicide prevention. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, right, suicide intervention seemed to be quite rare a few years ago. Suicide intervention is very necessary; my good friend passed away in August due to depression. Let's start now. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, okay, before we start, let me introduce myself again. Although I have introduced myself earlier, I am from Xinyang, Henan, and I am currently 26 years old, a graduate student at the Central China Normal University School of Psychology. I am very happy and grateful that you are willing to support and participate in this research. Now, before we start, could you please introduce yourself briefly, including your age, occupation, residence, and marital status? | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, I am obviously unmarried now, and I am from Chengdu. As for my age, I was born in 1994, so I am the same age as you. But I don't know who is older by month. I am currently a programmer at Alibaba. Hmm, yes, that's about it. The age when I was assaulted, let me think about the specific year, ah, from 2007 to now, it has been almost 14 years, more than ten years. So it should have been when I was 13 years old, just under 13, in February 2007, if I remember correctly. | ||
| Interviewer: | You can still remember it very clearly. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, because I chose to make many things public. I feel that in China, regarding same-sex... because I am relatively, um, in the conventional... (experiencing sexual assault) this is relatively rare, I am a victim of same-sex assault. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, and then people may focus more on heterosexual assault. However, in terms of sexual assault in China, there is actually even less research on same-sex assault than on heterosexual assault, and the laws are also not perfect. So I deliberately remember and share this experience. | ||
| Interviewer: | This requires more courage than for general girls. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, actually it’s okay, it’s actually okay. Yes, I think for boys, just taking my own experience as an example, the trauma for boys is a continuous process. It is a continuous process; you may feel that what happened when you were young is somewhat trivial. But as you grow older, subconsciously, because I was previously depressed, I had undergone psychological diagnosis. At that time, the psychologist identified that one of the triggers might be this incident, which led to a long-term PTSD. And yes, it might be more intense than for females. But in terms of social public opinion, it may be relatively more tolerant, or I don’t know how to define it. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, okay, let’s start now, following my interview outline. Let’s talk about it like telling a story, in chronological order. First, the background of the assault, and then how you coped with it. During this process, what kind of mental journey did you experience? | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, okay, actually at that time I was in a boarding school, and this incident might be quite long. I was in a boarding school, and I wasn't really a very sociable person. The school officer defined me as a child, and he might have had sexual needs. Now that I think about it, he was a retired soldier, and this was a sexual need. Hmm, so he would cultivate my obedience for a long time. For example, I was a bit of a disobedient child at that time. Then, for instance, during military posture training or other training, after being obedient, on the night of the incident, he took me to a bedroom, and we drank some alcohol, and then this incident happened. I completely lost the awareness to resist, and then this incident occurred. As for what happened afterward, the next morning I went back, and my dad treated me to sausages. It was just after the New Year, and we had sausages at home. I went home because it was Friday night, and I felt something was off, and I was very upset, so I told my dad about it. My family found out and realized I had been sexually assaulted, and they quickly reported it to the police, collected semen samples, and took a statement. Later, about a year later, before the conviction, they did another DNA test on me because the bodily fluid samples were collected from me. If you want to talk about my mental journey, actually, hmm, unlike girls, boys may not initially recognize that this is a rape. | ||
| Interviewer: | Actually, girls may not know either. | ||
| Interviewee: | Uh, girls might know initially because parents might educate them from a young age, saying that their private parts are very shameful, and they should not let boys touch them. Or touching those areas is bad for them; there might be such an introduction. So girls initially feel a sense of shame, a very clear sense of being violated. However, boys, from my own experience, may not react strongly at first. You might not even know what happened; you just feel uncomfortable and upset. | ||
| Interviewer: | And you told your father about it the next morning? | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, because at that time I felt very upset. Yes, and then because of the sausage incident, everyone understood, and my father noticed my unusual behavior and reported it to the police. Yes. | ||
| Interviewer: | Your father seems to be a very attentive person. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I have always been very grateful to my father for this incident. Because if it were a traditional parent, they might consider covering it up for the sake of reputation, right? Covering it up, or saying: "Oh, it happened, just let it go." Then they reported it, and in the end, that guy was sentenced to four years for child molestation, if I remember correctly. | ||
| Interviewer: | Four years. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, because one awkward point for boys is that in domestic law, sexual assault is defined as the insertion of a female sexual organ, and for boys, there is actually no definition of rape. Coincidentally, I was under the age of fourteen, so he was charged with child molestation under Article 230 of the Criminal Law, if I remember correctly, and he was sentenced. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, from this perspective, family relationships are indeed very important. Your communication with your father... | ||
| Interviewee: | Very important, very important. I think, in fact, many people I know who have been sexually assaulted, the degree of harm really depends on how the family handles the situation. If the family thinks this is sexual assault, then they report it in time and seek help from the authorities or the police. Then the harm can be minimized, or if they cooperate with timely psychological intervention, the damage can be controlled to a very small extent. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, what was your father's reaction after he found out, and what was your family's reaction? | ||
| Interviewee: | Uh, actually, my father didn't show too much anxiety in front of me. Hmm, my father understood that as a parent, no matter how big the issue is, he shouldn't show anxiety in front of the child... My mother was in Chengdu at that time, and I was in a small place. I was born in a small place, a steel city. My father was very calm at that time. He did two things, if I remember correctly. The first was that he called a friend because he was afraid the police wouldn't recognize the situation. So he consulted his friend: Can I go to another clinic first to preserve the semen or other bodily fluids? Later, he found out that these actions might not be compliant. Then my father took me to the local police station of the boarding school to take a statement, including the first round of bodily fluid collection. Yes. | ||
| Interviewer: | Your father is really impressive. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, yes. Then later, for other considerations, he brought me to Chengdu. Yes, and then isolated me from that environment. Because once this incident is publicly reported, it can still affect your growth, especially in the education system. Once you go out, transfer schools, and everyone inquires, they will know that this child is not quite right (laughs). | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. So what was your mental state regarding your father's handling of the situation at that time? | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, actually, I was still in a state of confusion at that time, still in a state of confusion. That is to say, during the bodily fluid collection and taking the statement, I actually did not realize that this incident was a rape. I did not have a clear understanding of this term, that this was a rape against boys. I just felt that this might be a bad thing. Hmm, then I cooperated with the police to fully record and express this incident. During the statement, I was still a child, and the core motivation for me to do this whole process, after my father made the decision for me, was more likely due to a child's obedience to elders or others. At that time, I did not realize what had happened. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, when did you start to realize the nature of this incident? | ||
| Interviewee: | Well, I actually began to realize it in high school, and to fully review my own experience, it should have been in college. It should have been close to graduation when I fully reviewed it, and the trigger was actually the Me Too movement in China. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, it was actually the Me Too movement. The trigger... I had a superficial review before, but to truly re-examine the whole incident from beginning to end, it should have been during the Me Too movement. Yes, that’s about the situation. | ||
| Interviewer: | What impact has this incident had on you, from when it happened until now? | ||
| Interviewee: | Uh, actually, I think it’s hard to quantify the real impact. Because many things, including after I went for psychological counseling, the doctor's view was that this incident is a subtle harm, a long-term PTSD. At that time, I went to the hospital for diagnosis, and I was diagnosed with depression, severe depression, accompanied by suicidal anxiety, and suicidal tendencies. At that time, after the doctor heard me describe this incident completely, the doctor's evaluation was that part of my depression actually came from this incident. Hmm, yes, because what? Because I needed to take medication for depression and also undergo psychological intervention. However, if you ask whether this incident has any obvious, quantifiable aftereffects, I think it’s hard to quantify. I feel that this is a subtle process. Because at that time, during the assault, there was no systematic psychological intervention, and I did not receive it. Yes, perhaps for same-sex experiences, at first, you might feel that it’s nothing, but the more you think about it, the more you feel that something is wrong. | ||
| Interviewer: | When you were diagnosed with depression, how old were you? | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, it should have been in 2017. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, three years ago. So before that, did you not show any specific symptoms? | ||
| Interviewee: | There were, actually, I had been experiencing neurasthenia, but I should have had it in college, but I did not get diagnosed because I was not diagnosed. Yes, but the formal confirmation was in 2017. Yes, so I think this incident is more likely a long-term subtle process. It does not mean that you suddenly feel: oh, you are not a clean person, and suddenly you feel like you want to jump off a building. I think that does not exist, but it may be a subtle process. | ||
| Interviewer: | Where do you think this subtle influence mainly comes from? | ||
| Interviewee: | I think it might start from breaking your own sense of completeness. That is to say, you feel that you are incomplete, or you feel that you are... using traditional terms, you feel that you are unclean, do you understand what I mean? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I guess subconsciously, you might add such a label to yourself. In fact, I think that, um, then you will feel that you speak lower than others or something else. Yes, I think this might still be caused by the social atmosphere. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, so after high school, you slowly began to have this awareness. When you were younger, you actually didn't know what the nature of this incident was? | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, yes, yes, boys actually have a troublesome issue in this regard. Initially, if you are the boy who was sexually assaulted, when you are young, you might think this is a game; you might feel this is more of a game. But as you grow older, you gradually realize that this is not... (a word, unclear) huh? Why does this feel so wrong? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, you gradually became aware of it. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, that's right. | ||
| Interviewer: | You initially chose to tell your father, not that you actively told him, but he noticed this incident himself. Later, did you disclose this incident again? When was the next time you told someone about it, and what was the reason? | ||
| Interviewee: | I should have still been in college. I had only told a few good friends before, and I formally chose to disclose this incident after college or close to graduation, after the Me Too incident. Because I felt that my experience, at that time, I also had a background in public welfare; I was previously in a rescue team. I served in the rescue team during college, and I did some work in a private capacity, including campus violence and campus sexual assault, which I was also involved in. Uh, I felt that I needed to make this incident meaningful. So I chose to publicly share my experience. Because I feel that if an incident can only become your own pain or your own suggestion, then whether you are in pain or not is not very meaningful. Yes, and this incident is relatively easier to help others because, as you know, child sexual assault is actually a very common issue. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, it is. And family involvement is also very important. I chose to share my experience on Zhihu, including my experience at that time and some of the methods my family used, as well as the shortcomings of my family at that time due to cognitive reasons, which did not provide me with timely psychological intervention. I hope to share these things so that I can make my experience more meaningful, not limited to the harm I suffered. | ||
| Interviewer: | You did really well. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, (sighs deeply) yes, this is also the reason I participated in your research. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, I also see that you say this is the meaning of your sharing. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, yes, I think that every person who has been harmed needs to find a way to turn the trauma and harm they have suffered into something more meaningful beyond just the harm. I think this is a fascinating topic. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, very meaningful and valuable. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, yes, this is my own choice, my own disclosure of a psychological activity. | ||
| Interviewer: | Good, and you just mentioned that you told a few good friends. When did you tell them, and how did they respond? What was their attitude and reaction at that time? | ||
| Interviewee: | They actually thought it was unbelievable. Just like that, they felt that out of concern for my protection, they told me that this matter should not be told to others. Out of goodwill, they wanted me not to share this incident with others. And this incident did not change much in our later interactions because they are good friends. | ||
| Interviewer: | That’s also because you trust them very much. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, because it was during casual chats, I just mentioned this matter. There was nothing to guard against; I just mentioned it. Although my parents always told me: you must not tell others about this. But I have never been a good child since I was young. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, so you also received some support from your friends. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, yes, that's right. | ||
| Interviewer: | Many children choose to tell their parents, which can cause secondary harm. So your father's handling of this situation is really precious. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, yes, that's right. I think, from my own experience with people who have been sexually assaulted, a large part of the harm actually comes from the original family. We can’t avoid saying that many people, including girls, feel that they might not get married, and the pressure from their original family is: "You can't get married, how can you be like this?" This is victim-blaming, right? Victim-blaming. "Hey, who told you to wear so little? Why did you wear so little?" In fact, my parents also had some of this; my mother also had a bit of this, saying: "Hey, if you had been more sociable, the instructor wouldn't have picked on you!" I feel that this kind of blame is unnecessary. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, yes, yes, it is clearly the perpetrator's fault, yet they still want to point out your flaws. So how did you feel facing your mother's blame? | ||
| Interviewee: | My mother actually didn't mean any harm. She just wanted to educate me to be more sociable. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, actually, when I was young, I never wanted to be sociable just for the sake of being sociable. But they are elders, and she wanted to educate me to be sociable, so she might have used an inappropriate example. But the inappropriate example also indicates that, currently, I am telling you about the harm of sexual assault, which is a situation I encountered. Many times, the pressure and harm are actually greater than the harm caused by the sexual assault itself, which may come from the harsh criticism of the original family. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, yes, indeed. | ||
| Interviewee: | Good, what do you think promotes your expression of this incident, and what hinders you from expressing it? | ||
| Interviewer: | Oh, actually, there are not many factors that hinder me from expressing this incident. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, I have noticed that too. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, because I feel that you all say "what does it have to do with me," using technical terms, it means "what does it have to do with me." Then I say my experience; if you can accept it, then good, if you can't, then don't look at it. You don't pay me or give me a salary, right? My personality is relatively, how should I put it, unconventional, so I feel okay. Another thing that promotes my disclosure is that, in China, there is currently a change in attitudes towards sexual assault victims. Hmm, it is... because previously, perhaps in the early 2000s or a few years ago, or even earlier, sexual assault was considered a very shameful thing, something disgraceful. It was said, "how shameful you are," meaning how could you let this happen to you? Just like the example I gave earlier, if you were sexually assaulted, you must have worn too little, or you must have dressed too provocatively. Ah, this kind of victim-blaming. In recent years, the attitude towards sexual assault victims in China has gradually improved. And as I mentioned earlier, another opportunity might be the Me Too movement. I feel that if I can disclose this incident and help others, it can soothe my own experience of being sexually assaulted. Especially if someone tells you: my child, uh, but I hope there won't be such a day, ah, but if one day a father or mother tells you: my child has been sexually assaulted, and I did what you said. I actually think if such a thing happens, it can heal many things. But I hope there won't be such a situation one day. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, and I think this might be, uh, a form of self-rescue. The second is that I hope to give back something using my own experiences. | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm. After recalling the entire experience, what are your feelings now? Can you summarize it in one word? | ||
| Interviewer: | Ah! It's okay. | ||
| Interviewee: | Okay? If I were to summarize it in one word? | ||
| Interviewer: | Ah, it's okay, just like after arguing with a product manager, how should I put it, ah, relaxed. | ||
| Interviewee: | Relaxed? | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, relaxed. I feel that, how should I say it? I think that actually talking about this issue face to face, after the conversation, there is still a sense of relaxation. Yes, just like after arguing with a product manager, you feel: wow, that was refreshing. | ||
| Interviewee: | The joy of being a programmer. | ||
| Interviewer: | Ah, yes. Can you elaborate a bit more on why you feel this way? | ||
| Interviewee: | Because I feel that when you talk about this issue online with a virtual identity, everyone knows that the ID of Maixasaka is me. Because I feel that I am quite active in this community, everyone might think that the ID of Maixasaka is me, and I will also say in WeChat groups, everyone sees, ah, this WeChat ID is Maixasaka, it’s me. But I feel that talking to you, a real person, one-on-one, is relatively like a stranger. I have actually discussed this issue deeply with my girlfriend. That is to say, talking to you, a stranger, one-on-one about this issue is also healing something inside me. Yes, because subconsciously, I might still feel that this is a shameful thing. So I thought about doing it online with a virtual identity. When I come to do this interview, it actually means I have some shackles, which are still (very big?) (unclear). | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, you mentioned earlier that you went to smoke a cigarette when I contacted you, and I felt, hmm, maybe you felt that you had to face this issue and needed to prepare emotionally. | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, actually, you are the first person to talk about this issue one-on-one as a relatively stranger. | ||
| Interviewer: | Can you say that word slowly? One what? | ||
| Interviewee: | Just one-on-one, it means one-on-one, face to face. | ||
| Interviewer: | Oh, oh. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, we should call it one-on-one here, like chatting one-on-one with the boss. | ||
| Interviewer: | Oh, oh, before I interrupt you, what were you going to say? Please continue. | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, no, no, I actually feel that, yes, talking about this issue with a virtual identity is a warm way to discuss this issue. I think it is actually two different experiences. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, indeed. You mentioned your girlfriend because she is the closest person to you besides your parents. You told her about this incident. Can you elaborate on the process of telling her and what kind of mental work you did? | ||
| Interviewee: | Just before going to bed at night, I talked to her about this childhood incident. It was actually nothing special because she knows everything about me. She didn't have much of a reaction; she just felt very heartbroken. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, heartbroken. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, yes, yes, and I feel that talking about this issue with someone close to you is actually nothing special. Of course, the premise is that your close person will not blame you: why were you wearing so little, why were you so provocative? Yes, it’s... (unclear) I feel that discussing such matters can also be a good way to promote the relationship. That is to say, it’s mutual analysis. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, it’s that kind of completely trusting state. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, that’s right. | ||
| Interviewer: | What is your understanding of the current situation of child sexual assault? | ||
| Interviewee: | Very serious, extremely serious, because sexual assault is actually a very large concept. I might say something a bit blunt below, please don’t mind. That is to say, sexual assault may not be limited to just, uh, an act of rape. It may involve marginal sexual assault, such as hugging and cuddling, or touching the sexual organs of little girls or boys. And this is becoming increasingly diverse. For ordinary people, I think, in the past, people thought that sexual assault was when a boy assaulted a girl. Later, people realized that boys could also assault boys. But now these situations may become more diverse, such as, uh, I might not do any substantial invasive acts. I might just say, hey, I see a little girl, I want to hug her, or I have some evil thoughts, and I want to touch her sexual organs. Or, I might say... because I have seen, if you pay attention, you can see many cases where, uh, I ask a little girl to help me with oral sex using a lollipop, right? Yes, I have actually seen such cases. Or, I might ask a little boy to perform oral sex, or other things, and the identity of the perpetrator may change. It could be a girl in her twenties or thirties, or someone with a relatively open lifestyle. Hmm, yes, and I might flirt with a child and engage in sexual relations with him. In my view, this is also a form of sexual assault. Because before a little boy's sexual awareness matures, this action will have a significant impact on him, affecting his sexual orientation or sexual behavior. Including now, homosexuality is also being brought to the forefront, meaning that if I, as a homosexual, forcibly turn someone gay or sexually assault a little boy, it is also a form of sexual assault. In fact, sexual assault is currently very serious, and child sexual assault is indeed a very serious issue. Moreover, it is becoming more diverse. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, but relevant laws have indeed not kept up. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, that’s right. For example, if I, uh, say, a girl in her twenties or thirties, sexually assaults a boy, a boy in his teens, if I have another identity, like a teacher, or in another country, I could receive a heavier punishment. However, in China, the legal actions in this area are not perfect. For example, if this boy is under 14 years old, you might be charged with child molestation. And for those under 14, rape is only defined for females, not males, because in domestic law, rape is still defined as the insertion of a male sexual organ into a female. So I think there is still a lot of room for improvement in our country's laws. This includes timely psychological intervention after being sexually assaulted. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, yes, indeed, it is in urgent need of improvement. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, in fact, sexual assault in China is becoming more diverse. For example, child sexual assault is actually diverse. Because life has improved, people will wonder what is going on. Moreover, sexual assault among same-sex peers is also very serious. For example, the behavior of bullying in campus violence can transform into sexual assault, and such issues have not been taken seriously. | ||
| Interviewer: | There is still a long way to go. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, that’s right. | ||
| Interviewer: | What do you think victims of childhood sexual assault need in terms of intervention and help? | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, I think the most powerful intervention is public authority. | ||
| Interviewer: | What? Public authority? | ||
| Interviewee: | Hmm, the intervention of public authority, that is, the involvement of government departments. At that time, this incident did not have a significant impact because the police left a deep impression on me. Yes, because I didn't have time to eat dinner at that time, and I remember that the police station was still in contact with my father... (signal issue, unclear) Because generally, in such small places, police might feel impatient about such matters: it’s okay, you can handle it at home. They might want to smooth things over, which is the traditional way of handling things at the grassroots level. However, that police officer was very responsible, and I remember that I hadn’t eaten breakfast at that time, and I was taking the statement until more than two in the afternoon, and I hadn’t collected bodily fluids yet. As a child, I was hungry, and I remember I ate a bag of apple slices in his office, and I still remember that. Yes, I think timely intervention by public authority can provide a very appropriate guarantee for children. Because everyone has learned from a young age: police officers are good people. If you are bullied, the police will come to help you, right? Therefore, the timely intervention of public authority must be a priority, meaning that family and public authority should intervene in a timely manner. The second thing that I think is very important is that within a month of the sexual assault, regardless of whether the child shows any unusual behavior, it is essential to seek timely psychological intervention. Yes, because sexual assault, like other forms of harm, you, as someone studying psychology, must know better than I do, is that sexual assault, like other forms of harm, will inevitably lead to PTSD-related issues. If you do not seek psychological intervention, then you will always have a knot in your heart. For example, there is a writer in Taiwan named Zhang Yuan, the one who committed suicide. I forgot her name. | ||
| Interviewer: | Lin Yi-han. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, yes, Lin Yi-han, and she actually experienced this kind of situation. Uh, people like me who are more resilient might choose self-guidance, but people like her might experience PTSD, combined with various misunderstandings, depression, and then suicide. I feel that the timely intervention of public authority and psychological intervention is indeed very necessary and very important. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, indeed. | ||
| Interviewee: | However, I feel that there seem to be very few specialized psychological interventions for child sexual assault in China. | ||
| Interviewer: | Indeed very few. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I feel that this area is in urgent need of improvement. Because using adult psychological intervention methods for children is actually (a word, unclear) different. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, first of all, psychology in China is just developing, it is in its initial stage. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, that is to say, these things still need time to improve. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, indeed, it needs a process. But it is slowly getting better. | ||
| Interviewee: | To be honest, I feel that in the short term, it may not be possible to see significant improvements. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, the road is long and arduous. | ||
| Interviewer: | The road is long. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, in fact, I think for children, timely and surrounding help is very important. | ||
| Interviewer: | What suggestions do you have for preventing and intervening in child sexual assault? This question is essentially the same as the previous one. | ||
| Interviewee: | Prevention is actually something you can't solve; you can't prevent it. Because sexual assault means that one party, regardless of whether it is physical strength or something else, is definitely superior to the other party. Right? | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes. I will give an inappropriate example: sexual assault is something that you can only take some preventive measures for. For example, girls are commonly told: girls, don’t let boys touch you, and so on. But if, for example, I take violent measures, I will give an inappropriate example; I hope you don't mind. For example, if I see a little girl, I take violent measures, I hug her, and do something excessive, do you think she has the ability to resist? No, right? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, and do you think this matter can be prevented? No way. So I think prevention is actually a very luxurious thing because it requires a systematic construction. It is a very luxurious thing. I think it is more important to tell children that this is not a shameful thing. If you are assaulted, it is not your fault; you need to tell your parents in a timely manner. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, yes. | ||
| Interviewee: | I think this is actually more important than prevention. | ||
| Interviewer: | Very pertinent, hmm. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, because, uh, you should also see many anonymous posts on Zhihu, where people feel that their family thinks it is shameful, especially girls, and their families do not tell them these things. Right? I feel that this might be because many things cannot be prevented. For example, if you are walking on the road and suddenly someone has evil thoughts, how can you prevent it? You can't prevent it. Unless you carry a knife with you and threaten anyone who touches you. This is, of course, a joke, but I feel that it is essential to cultivate a concept: this is not a shameful thing; it is not your fault; you need to (tell your family? unclear, uncertain). | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, mainly the influence of family is particularly significant. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I actually think that public authority also has a very significant impact. Because many grassroots, although they are police officers, may not have legal awareness. They might subconsciously say, for the sake of your daughter, let’s settle this matter. Let’s not go through the legal process; you all just negotiate. I feel that grassroots authorities might think, uh, just don’t let it get messy, and don’t let victim-blaming happen. This matter is not their fault. I think establishing a systematic understanding of this issue is very important. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, looking back at your coping methods, what feelings do you have? | ||
| Interviewee: | My father did a great job, ah, but perhaps he could have done even better. However, this is hindsight; I can't go back to 2007 and say... ah, excuse me, let me check, someone might be knocking. Anyway, I think he did a great job at that time. The whole process was smooth, and I am very grateful to him. Yes, but I feel that if I look back from my current perspective, I think it might still lack the psychological intervention I just mentioned. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, what about your own coping methods? You chose to speak out. If you hadn't spoken out, what do you think would have happened? | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, actually, I can't make assumptions about many things. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't spoken out. I feel that this matter is actually hard to make assumptions about. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, how do you feel about your coping methods? How do you view them? | ||
| Interviewee: | I actually don’t have any special feelings. I just feel that I did what I should do. There are no special feelings. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, I also designed a question: if you could go back to the time when this incident happened, what would you do? | ||
| Interviewee: | To be honest, I feel that this question is not very meaningful. Because, as I said earlier, many times, it is actually from a position of weakness. Campus sexual assault is actually a very naive understanding of sex; you cannot assume that you have complete sexual knowledge. If you could go back and possess that person, then say what you would do at that time, I feel that this assumption is actually meaningless. I am being quite straightforward. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, because perhaps boys are more rational, but for me personally, I hope I could go back. I have imagined such a scenario: if I could go back, I could avoid all of this from happening, which is an emotional outlet. That’s why I ask this question. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, it is an emotional outlet, but for most people, this matter is actually meaningless. We can only look forward, just like I said earlier. I actually know what you mean; you want to say that I should summarize a set of experiences to avoid what happened at that time. But as I said earlier, many times, child sexual assault victims are actually facing adults, and they are facing various adults. They actually have very little room for choice. I feel like your emotions seem to be a bit fluctuating. | ||
| Interviewer: | No, it’s because I thought of those girls I interviewed earlier, and all the perpetrators were not adults; ah, one was an adult, and the rest were all middle school students, boys around fourteen years old. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, sigh, I feel that this matter is purely a stroke of bad luck. Yes, because this matter, for example, if I am walking on the road and suddenly something falls from the twelfth floor and kills me, I can't say that I predicted that something would fall from above at three o'clock today and avoided it. This matter is unpredictable unless I have superpowers. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, okay, one more question: after the entire interview, what are your feelings, and what do you think of my interview? | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, I feel that, actually, I think it’s okay. At first, I thought your attitude would be a bit pushy, a bit aggressive, a bit academic, but I feel that after the whole conversation, it was quite good. And yes, but I hope that more people can do research in this area. | ||
| Interviewer: | I also hope so. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I think I hope that more people can do this research. In fact, I don’t mind doing interviews, but I hope there are more people. To be honest, I am also very curious why you are the first one to contact me? Why hasn’t anyone else contacted me? I am actually curious about this question. | ||
| Interviewer: | Do you think someone should have done this research a long time ago? | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I feel that this is not a new thing. It is not a new thing. I feel that although psychology in China has started late in this area, it should not be that in 2020, someone just started doing this. It is almost 2021, and only now someone is looking for past incidents. But it may also be that I am not in the circle; I don’t know; it may also be that I am not in the circle, and I don’t know. | ||
| Interviewer: | In fact, I wanted to write this a long time ago, but I was afraid to tell my advisor, fearing it would be rejected. They would say this is a particularly sensitive topic, and the feasibility is very low. | ||
| Interviewee: | Okay, okay, okay, I understand. I am actually very curious about what your advisor thought when you finally decided to do this topic. | ||
| Interviewer: | My teacher supported me. But he said you have to consider one issue: you may not find enough subjects because this is a very sensitive issue, and it is very difficult to find research subjects. | ||
| Interviewee: | Ah, yes. | ||
| Interviewer: | Is there anything else you want to say or express that I haven't mentioned? | ||
| Interviewee: | Oh, actually, I think you have done a good job with this topic. I feel that we have basically covered everything I wanted to discuss. I just hope that research in this area in China can keep up. I won’t mention the legal aspect because the law is bound to lag behind social development. Yes, and I won’t mention the legal aspect; I just hope that psychological intervention can keep up in a timely manner. Everyone's perspective should not face a sexual assault victim and say: you were wearing too little, you were too provocative, you were too promiscuous... Such victim-blaming should not be mentioned again. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, yes, yes. | ||
| Interviewee: | That’s all. I just want to say, "screw you!" I feel that what you are doing is quite meaningful. As I said earlier, I am very curious why it is only in 2020 that someone is looking for me. Of course, I am not in the circle; perhaps someone has done this earlier, and I just didn’t know; it just happened to fall on me. But I do feel that this should indeed be very rare. | ||
| Interviewer: | Yes, in 2013 and 2014, some people also did this because I saw some related master's theses. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, I hope your research goes smoothly. If you have doubts about this, I don’t know if you have doubts about doing this. If you do, I want to make it clear to you: doing this is very meaningful. | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, thank you, thank you. | ||
| Interviewee: | Yes, okay, do you have anything else you want to ask? | ||
| Interviewer: | Currently, no. Everything you do is very meaningful. | ||
| Interviewee: | Thank you. Then shall we leave it at that? | ||
| Interviewer: | Hmm, okay, then you get busy, bye-bye. | ||
| Interviewee: | Bye-bye. |
Summary#
There are actually many things I want to say, but I don’t know how to express them all at once. Here, I will quote a sentence written by my interviewer in the paper as a conclusion:
I always believe that a single spark can start a prairie fire.
Everything is gonna be OK.